Us guys might think we have a pretty comprehensive list of what we are looking for in a woman, but there are many important factors that a lot of us somehow overlook when choosing a mate. At best, this can slow down the process considerably, but at worst it can mean wasting a lot of time trying to establish relationships with the wrong women, instead of finding a quality woman that is a good match.
Here are the top 12 things guys tend to overlook when trying to find the right woman.
#1 Her Attitude About Her Attractiveness
We might as well just get a couple of obvious ones out the way first, which means we should first take a look at attractiveness and the attitude she has about it.
So you have found a girl that is a real hottie. The question is: How does she handle that? What she thinks of her attractiveness and how she acts about it is very likely more important to the situation than what you think of it and how you act about it.
The first thing to measure is just how tied to her physical appearance she really is. Is she one of those women who think that because she is attractive she doesn’t need to bring anything else to the table? If so, you will likely find that she is obsessed with her looks and interested in little else.
This kind of woman might look great on your arm, but you will end up seriously disappointed in nearly every possible way aside from being physically attracted to her.
You also have to remember that old adage about how for every beautiful woman in the world there is a man who is tired of putting up with her. This means that, even if you are shallow enough to think that looks might be enough, you will most likely find that even your physical attraction to her will wane over time when she has nothing else to offer.
The best women are the ones who don’t realize how beautiful they are. You want to find one of these women, and then be the one responsible for helping her recognize her true beauty. That is the best way to go for your long-term happiness.
#2 Integrity and Character
Have you ever heard the saying, «Pretty is as pretty does?» Well, it’s true. A woman can be a knockout in the looks department, but if she doesn’t have integrity and good character, then she is ultimately going to end up not being so pretty and appealing.
A lack of integrity can even be tied to her attitude about her attractiveness that I mentioned as the first thing guys overlook. When it is, you could be in serious trouble. It’s one thing for a girl to know she’s hot and focus on it way too much, but it’s quite another if she also lacks integrity and turns towards the dark side of using her looks in manipulative and self-serving ways.
For example, a beautiful woman who is accustomed to having men kowtow to her could very easily become one of those women who will throw a huge fit if she thinks she sees you barely glance at another woman, but, in the same breath, will insist that her huge group of guy friends who flirt and get frisky with her when you are standing right there is nothing and that you have no right to get upset over it.
This is a prime example of a woman who went from being shallow to some full-on double standard behavior somewhere along the line. A lack of integrity can cause this – and plenty of other things that you don’t want to deal with.
#3 Emotional and Physical Strength
When I say you want a woman with physical strength, I don’t mean that you need to hang out at gyms looking for women who can bench 300 pounds. But I do mean that you should seek out a woman who has the physical strength and energy to at least share household duties or head out for the occasional outdoor adventure. Being strong and physically fit isn’t all about looks either; it also has to do with overall well-being and health, and you do want a healthy partner.
When it comes to emotional strength, I know that I have said a lot about you – as the man – being a leader who can show that you can provide protection and handle any situation. However, this doesn’t mean that you should feel like a babysitter every time you are around the woman you are dating. You also have to think long term here: Life is full of challenges, so you need a life partner who can stand beside you and handle things with you, rather than just making everything worse by falling apart every time something comes up.
#4 Complaining, Contention and Combativeness
All of us guys should be seeking out strong women, but strength should not be confused with contention and combativeness. You want the kind of strength that allows her to be upfront with you about issues that come up, to always mean what she says and say what she means, and to stand her ground when necessary – for example, if the two of you were to have children.
Unfortunately, too many guys get all confused when it comes to strength in women, which is partially a result of what we see on television and in movies. Even ads that play during the big game show women criticizing men and their ideas at every opportunity. This is, of course, portrayed as normal or even cute, but it’s no way to be in a relationship. Contention – or downright combativeness – will get you nowhere but miserable. Partners need to support each other in their hopes and dreams, as well as the day-to-day stuff that comes with life. If you choose a woman who is constantly complaining or takes every chance to shoot down your ideas and criticize you, you are going to be miserable. No one is happy in a relationship like that – the man will always feel like he can do nothing right and the woman will be continuously frustrated by everything the guy does.